“You've got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
~ Bette Midler, “The Glory of Love”
I love the 1988 movie Beaches with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey. It is about a rare lifelong friendship and their love for each other through the ups and downs. I am not going to say much more and ruin it, but I do end up sobbing and looking like a blubbering fool EVERY time I watch it (even though I know the ending). It is a love story, not a physical “fall in love, romantic” type of love story, but a love story between friends. The whole plot gets me wondering about the definition of love.
People say “I love you” all the time. I do. When I get off of a phone call with family and often close friends, I say “Love you!” I end texts with “Love you!” I even have secret code words with my husband, kids, mom, sister - they all mean “I Love you!” But does it mean different things to different people? I used to say “I love you!” to my students all the time and I meant it - I loved them! I still do! But it was a different love than I had for my own personal kids!
Instead of trying to understand the different types of love I feel for people (Eros, Agape and Philos), I decided to get to the root of it all! How do I love? Am I any good at it? Do I need to work on it? What is love? In the Bible, (New International version) 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 gives me the best description of what love is:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Now, I have been told that if you take out the word LOVE and insert your name then you can see what you really need to work on. Here goes:
4 Keli is patient, Keli is kind. Keli does not envy, Keli does not boast, Keli is not proud.
5 Keli does not dishonor others, Keli is not self-seeking, Keli is not easily angered, Keli keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Keli does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 Keli always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Keli never fails.
Wow! This assignment hits hard! I am not that Keli with all my relationships! If I break it down specifically and look at them, I think with some of my people/relationships I need to not be so easily angered, with others not so boastful, with others definitely not so envious! I could be more kind! …and so on! What a GREAT exercise… one that I can use on all levels. I can use this to make myself better and my relationships better! I definately need some work!
I want to be the best wife I can be! This job is the most important to me! I also want to be the best mom, daughter, sister, grandmother, friend I can be and LOVE big! I have been blessed with many amazing people in my life and want to be the best example of love to each of them. I think every now and then it will be good to go back and do this exercise and make sure I am focusing on the true meaning of love. Working on improving ourselves is never a bad thing! We should all do it!
This week I challenge you to think of an important relationship you have and try this exercise. Replace the word LOVE(it) from 1st Corinthians 13: 4-8 with your name. Do you need to focus on any particular thing? Give it a try! I hope you LOVE it!