When I was little and got in trouble, I got spanked. No, my parents didn’t beat me and it didn’t take very many spankings for me to understand the importance of listening to them. I’m sure there were times I was sent to my room to settle down, but by the time I was a teenager, I’m sure I wanted to be in my room - my parents didn’t have to send me.
When we had kids the concept of sending your children to “time-out” was popular. There were “time-out“ corners, “time-out” pillows and “time-out” benches. The idea was to let your kiddo go sit and be quiet and just think about what they were doing and how they could change their behavior. It can really work! My husband and I never used the “time-out” term with our kids. We sent them to the bottom of the stairs and told them “Find your happy!” It was the same concept - just different words. I don’t know why we did that - but it worked for our family.
I see people taking time-outs now. Many young adults who graduate high school decide to take “gap years” and travel or work fun jobs before they start their real careers or go to college. Many people take much needed vacations before new jobs or new seasons of life begin.
After my dad retired, he took a sabbatical. He went to our lake house for a couple weeks and did some soul searching about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. I love that - an adult time-out! He came back with some new ideas and a renewed spirit! It was important for him to do that - just like it’s important for all of us to do.
I think as adults we need time-outs! We need some time to find our happy! I remember one day when I was teaching and I decided to rebel and wear jeans on a “non jeans day!” OOOOHHHHH! A younger teacher asked me if she thought I would get in trouble. HA! “Send me home - PLEASE!” I remember saying. I needed a time-out! I was tired!
I was tired of getting up at 5 in the morning. I was tired of doing lesson plans. I was tired of teaching. I was tired of being in charge of things. I was tired of coming home and making dinner. I was tired of doing laundry. I just needed a nap and I knew I’d be fine! I could take days off, but I never really took “mental health days.” I loved my students and was kind of possessive about them and didn’t want anyone else teaching them. When I retired I had 70+ days that were wasted and not used. I loved my own kids and husband so much - but I was tired. I wonder if I had used more of those days to take time-outs if I would have been any different parent, wife or teacher through those years? I’ll never know.
What I do know is that as I look back on my life, I can see when I really should have taken some time to breathe. I now tell people to stop, relax and take some time for themselves. Take a time-out! Be still and reflect. Reflect on who you were, who you are and who you want to be. You may be in a new season of your life and you aren’t sure what is next. Stop, be still, look around and figure it out.
So where are you in your life? Do you need a time-out? TAKE IT! Reflect on where you’ve been- where you are- and where you are going! WARNING: Don’t get stuck there though! A time-out is not forever. It is temporary. It’s just a place to take a breath, refocus and figure out what’s next! Don’t get so busy and caught up in your world that you don’t take some YOU time. Overall, a time-out can be good for you and for everyone around. We are all worth it!