“You need to eat those,” Mom says.
“What are they?” I reply with my nose all scrunched up.
“Brussel sprouts.”
“OOOOOO NOOOOO BRUSSEL SPROUTS ARE GROSS!”
“How do you know? Have you ever tried them?” Mom says calmly.
I am not sure how many times I went through this conversation with different foods that were not on our normal family dinner rotation. Every now and then my mom would try to sneak in something “new” to what my sister and I were used to eating. Much of the time we called her on it! As adults we have broadened our taste buds and even share recipes for foods we would have never eaten as kids! Sometimes it just takes maturity.
Situations like this played out in my classroom all the time. I was fortunate enough to get to teach in a school where there was a diverse culture. I absolutely loved it. Sometimes my students would disagree with each other because of their upbringings and really had no basis for why they would even have their opinions except that this is what they knew - it was how they had been brought up! I challenged them at the beginning of each semester to listen to each other, process what they heard and if they disagreed or had questions to ask in a respectful way. Some kids needed reminding a bit more frequently than others, but eventually kids were willing to share about their lives and why they had the opinions they did without fear of being ridiculed. We would learn so much about each other! I learned about different family traditions, new religious holiday customs, why families named people certain names and of course foods that different cultures experienced.
One of the biggest lessons this back row Baptist white girl teacher learned was on a field trip. Each semester I would organize “CHALLENGE DAY” for my students. It was a big deal! A day off of school at the park in matching t-shirts… who wouldn’t want to do that in high school? We would group the kids up and they would rotate around to different low ropes team building activities. It was like Survivor for high school! The day was always so fun and very powerful! Kids that never spoke to each other would come back on the bus best friends with inside jokes!
One fall CHALLENGE DAY the weather was still very hot. It was time for lunch and all the kids sat around in groups eating, chatting and laughing. I always brought extra food and water bottles (IT WAS HOT!) for anyone who forgot lunch or didn’t have enough. I noticed that a kiddo wasn’t eating anything and I went up to him and asked him if he wanted some things out of my snack bag.
He politely said, “No Ma’am I can’t eat lunch right now. It is Ramadan and I am fasting.”
“It’s what?” I asked him.
This sweet young man was Muslim and proceeded to explain that for a certain period of time, all Muslims would fast while the sun was up and could only eat AND drink (even water) when it was dark. He told me and all the kids sitting around him about the big feasts his families would have once the sun went down each night! I did not know this and felt I learned a bunch that day.
From that day on, each semester I would ask my Muslim kiddos when they had to fast for holidays and I would NOT schedule our CHALLENGE DAY during those weeks. I also started asking the Muslim girls who would wear long sleeves if I could order them a long sleeve shirt for them for our field trip. My heart was opened to new and different things with this situation. From this day forward other kids felt comfortable bringing up different customs pertaining to their cultures and I think everyone grew!
I have often said, if someone is a different religion, race or culture than you are, you have an opportunity to grow. You don’t have to change what you believe or how you do things, just be respectful and learn and understand why people do the things they do.
Everyone’s family dinner rotation is not the same, but it’s good to check out other menus. These days, even though I have matured a little, I have learned to “appreciate and respect” those foodies who like brussel sprouts. I might even try them every now and again if someone else makes them. But for the most part… I still believe that Brussel sprouts are gross!
Have you been in an argument or disagreement with someone without knowing their reason behind their opinion? We do it all the time! Have you ever decided NOT to argue or disagree with someone because you knew why they had their opinion? Remember, you don’t have to always agree or even accept people‘s opinions, but it is so much easier to get along if we understand their WHY.