I am not ashamed to admit that growing up I was in the BEST church youth choir in the state of Texas… no, I might say the world! We had a junior high choir, (7th through 9th grades) and then high school/college choir. We probably had 150+ in each. It actually was where I met my husband (little fun fact)! Oh the stories that we could share from those days!!!!!
Each summer we would load up on big greyhound buses and go on a tour for a couple of weeks. We would stop in some town, unload at a church, eat, get dressed in Sunday school rooms, get up on the risers and sing our hearts out! The last song of every performance was “SHINE”!
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine.
Let it shine! Let it shine! Let it shine!!!!!
I love the whole meaning behind this song- letting my faith shine!
I was reminded of this theme again as I heard a reporter interview David Brooks, an author and journalist who just wrote the book How to Know a Person. In his book, Brooks refers to people as being either diminishers or illuminators. This analogy made me think of the song “Shine. “I thought to myself, on a daily basis, was my light shining? Even when I wasn’t referring to my faith, still… was I shining? Am I an illuminator or a diminisher?” I researched and read on.
Other authors have jumped in on this idea as well and I was interested in their takes. Similarly, the views on diminishers are as follows:
*Redirect conversations to their own agendas
*Not deep listeners
*Listening for key words to fit their course
*Rush to fill a silence
*Do much of the talking in a conversation
It is often understandable that diminishers do these things because many times they grew up around other diminishers and they know no difference. They may not know quite how to illuminate a conversation and it may be uncomfortable for them. Diminishers are not bad people.They often can be the life of the party!
In a different way however, illuminators are those who have the patience and curiosity to want to get to know others better. Illuminators intend to expand a conversation.
Illuminators will:
*Get others to open up and ask questions- expand topics
*Genuinely will be interested in WHY someone feels about something the
way they do - what is the reason - the back story - AND WILL LISTEN
*Not rush to fill the silence.
*Illuminators are present in a conversation. They LISTEN!
Looking into this and thinking about my own life made me realize that each of us is probably both a diminisher and illuminator to a degree, but oh how I would rather be much more an illuminator! I want to understand why people think the way they do rather than jump to a conclusion. When I am busy and sidetracked, I feel like I am more of a diminisher than an illuminator. I need to refocus and work on my light. I want my light to shine! I am going to make an effort to try to illuminate a little more!
Keli’s Korner Challenge: Do you listen for the pause (so you can dive in with your response!)? Or do you listen for the cause (and find out something about someone/something before you respond)? Do you ask questions? Try to take notice this week of the people around you. Figure out if you think they are diminishers or illuminators - write about it! If you are brave enough - talk about it with them ;) Shine on!